If you don't know, AskBrad


If you are looking for 'office friendly' jokes, put your e-mail in the box below and click the join list button. I send out jokes as often as I can (not very often) that will hopefully increase morale wherever you are. Please note that you are the one requesting the jokes. I am not forcing them on you. Each joke sent out gives the opportunity to be removed from this list. If your company is going to reprimand you for receiving jokes, then I suggest you NOT join this list. I don't want your termination on my conscience. Please read the disclaimer below.  
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Portions of the following disclaimer was unofficially stolen from Issue 6 of Oddjokes mailing list. I think it fits. 
Things to think about before bothering me:

  1. None of the jokes are mine. Other people wrote them all (okay, some may be down to me but when they are I'll let you know). I never intentionally use copyrighted material! If you see a joke you wrote, tell me, and I’ll credit you. If you see a joke you didn’t write, but you know who did, don’t tell me, its their problem not yours. Maybe tell them if you can be bothered.
  2. I never claimed this to be a 'family' mailing list. If a joke offends you, then you're easily offended. I'm not prejudiced. I insult anybody. And note that I include sexist jokes against both sexes. (that means I often make jokes against myself). If you feel that I have not insulted you enough or feel there is someone I am being nice too - let me know.
  3. These jokes are distributed from an INDIVIDUAL (me) not a company. I am not claiming to work for anybody. Nobody is forcing me to put out these jokes. I put them out of my own free will. If you don't like it, you have issues. 
  4. If you want to unsubscribe. Do it yourself. Don’t mail me with unsubscriptions. People who do mail me with unsubscriptions can expect to be publicly ridiculed for there lack of intelligence because they never read this bit. I'll remind you again how to unsubscribe - send a blank email to: AskBradJokes-unsubscribe@topica.com
  5. I don't claim any copyright on this mail. So you are free to copy anything you like from it. However, if you say own a huge ezine and fancy giving me a mention - well, lets say I wont be unhappy.
  6. This humor does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my dog. Do not quote me on that. Do not quote me on anything. Don't tell my mom. All rights reserved. Copyright laws for specific jokes apply where noted. Jokes are subject to change without notice.
  7. Any resemblance to actual jokes, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or tear. Your mileage may vary. This offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted by law.
  8. Humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied. User assumes full liabilities. Management is not liable for damages due to use or misuse. If defects are found, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center. No user serviceable parts inside. Thou shalt not steal! Read at your own risk. Keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children. No purchase necessary. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Action figures sold separately. No colorings or preservatives added.
  9. Contents may settle during shipment. Full net weight guaranteed. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken. For external use only. If a rash, redness, irritation or swelling develops, discontinue use, If the problem continues contact your doctor and show them this packaging. Use only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes.
  10. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Insurance regulations prohibit recipients from entering the joke-making area without an escort. Smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh.
  11. Text used in these jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles. No animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist. Slippery when wet.
  12. Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.
  13. Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
  14. Happy Fun Ball Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
  15. Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.
  16. Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:
       Tingling in extremities
       Loss of balance or coordination
       Slurred speech
       Temporary blindness
       Profuse sweating
       Heart palpitations
  17. If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
  18. Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.
  19. When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...
  20. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
  21. Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
  22. Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
  23. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
  24. Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee.
Please note: Disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item.

These jokes are illegal where prohibited.

Other restrictions may apply.